Shopped & Overheard

My groceries were paid for, bagged, and in my cart, as I headed for the exit.

Standing in front of me, but at a distance, were two thirty-something masked men, not masked as thieves, but as a precaution against Covid. One male was the store manager and the other, one of my favorite Whole Foods' cashiers: favorite in that he's pleasant, efficient, and knows not to put my half-gallons of milk on top of my Heirloom tomatoes.

Anyway, the men stood side by side, arms crossed, facing into the store. There was no animation between them: no laughter, head-bobs, fist bumps or high-fives... just two co-workers in the midst of some serious discussion. Perhaps they were commenting on the crowd, the long lines, and the need to open more registers, or maybe, working conditions: break times and wages.

When I overheard the cashier, in mid-sentence, say to the manager...

"She winked at me."

Cryptic sweet nothings, out of left field, that left me with a strong desire to know more.

Then two weeks later, while back at Whole Foods in the check-out line with my favorite cashier and my groceries ready for scanning, I worked up the nerve to ask about the "winking woman" when he asked me, "How is your day?"

Caught off guard, I spontaneously spewed out... "Better than yesterday, when we were held hostage by our apartment complex's garage door that refused to open, locking us inside all day."

Clearly, an issue that wasn't yet out of my system.

And then I wondered who nearby might have caught just the snippet, "We were held hostage," as they exited the store, wishing they too, could have overheard more.

Well, to my surprise there's a whole Facebook page on conversations overheard at Whole Foods.

Here are a few of my favs:

Overheard at Whole Foods

Woman in front of me in line:

"Um, I need to read the numbers on the barcode aloud to you. I don't want any lasers touching my food."

Cashier: "Ma'am, this food has been touched by lasers and all sorts of things before it even got to our store."

Woman: "4785..."

Overheard at Whole Foods

Lady: "Do you guys carry long pumpkin?"

Me: "I'm not sure what that is?"

Lady (in a fit of rage): "UGH, sometimes they are called zucchini!"

Me: "Oh you mean zucchini?!"

(Overheard by Matt, employee of WF)

Overheard at Whole Foods

Man: "Hi, I'm looking for Satan."

WF Employee: "You're looking for the devil?"

Man: "Um, it's vegan?"

WF Employee: "Ah, seitan. Next aisle in the fridge."

(@realoverheardla)

Overheard at Whole Foods

"I heard that some mushrooms are poisonous.

Is your creamy mushroom soup made with those ones, or the other kind?"

Overheard at Whole Foods

Tween Girl: "Mom can I have this?"

Mom: "Is it vegan, gluten free, AND fair trade?"

Tween: "I don't think it needs to be..."

Mom: "You KNOW the rule! ALL THREE OR IT DOESN'T COME INTO OUR HOUSE!"

Tween: "Mom... it's a hairbrush..."

Mom: "I DON'T CARE! VEGAN, GLUTEN FREE, FAIR TRADE! SAY IT!"

Tween: "UGH. You're such a...FIRST WORLD PROBLEM!"

(Overheard by Christin Joy)

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Next... Here are a few links you might find interesting:

Amusing interactions between management and a deli employee here.

A monumental grocery list here.

An exhibition of ceramic grocery lists here.

And... only in Vegas here.

Until we meet again

at "Here and Next"...

XOX... Dyan