Death & A Bicycle

"Ice Angel" by Dominic Harris and Cinimod Studio

Growing up, my parents gave me anchors when really all I wanted were wings. Free to fly, to do, and just be... playful, creative, and carefree.

That much has not changed, only it's life and age that ground me now.

Presently rooted in old routines with little adventure, I long for days light as feathers.

I once believed that God gave us shoulder blades so when we died we'd sprout wings, turn into angels, and fly to heaven.

Pretty deep for a kid raised in a family where religion was rarely spoken.

I rarely talk about death anymore, but think about it often. Though maybe not as often as some, like actor, writer, director, Woody Allen, whose obsession with mortality has made him famous with lines like these:

"In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start to work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities; you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!"

My view of death is much less sexy and far more encompassing. It's about loss, those big and small. Not only the cessation of life, but also of things: a home, a job, separation from friends and family, the cancellation of a favorite television show, the closing of a nearby bookstore, the inability to do things that were once easy.

It's been many decades since I was a child, rode a bicycle or had my knees forever covered with band-aids.

I've been told that once you learn how to ride a bike, you never forget. But knowing and doing are very different things.

I know that as I lay in bed with ice packs on both legs, a sore arm and aching back, I may need to rethink the idea of owning and riding a bicycle. At first I wanted one for practical reasons for exercise and transport, but now realize it was probably more about the desire to relive my youth and enjoy the pure sense of freedom that comes from having both feet off the ground and one's hair blowing in the wind.

"Forever Bicycles" by Ai Weiwei

But it's precisely the act of both feet off the ground that created this mess in the first place.

Make that... second place.

The first place was in Target when I decided to test out a cute yellow Schwinn cruiser. I thought I'd give it a whirl down the aisle, but slid off the seat and crashed into a display rack.

Michael, my husband, stayed calm but concerned then matter-of-factly said, "That doesn't exactly bode well."

I wasn't discouraged. I attributed the mishap to slippery pants and a poorly assembled bicycle seat. The price was right, but the fit was all wrong.

The second place, the cause of my current aches and pains, took place in front of a friend's house. Lu had just bought a used Diamondback bicycle for herself and wanted me to try it for size and take it for a spin. Only I had never ridden a bike with speeds and hand brakes and didn't expect to spin out of control down a hill with little friction between the tires and the road. I did manage to slow down fairly well, but once my foot failed to touch the ground squarely, both the bike and I tumbled onto a grassy curb, which thankfully softened my fall. Remarkably, I wasn't shaken or hurt, though I'm feeling the effects a day later. I even got back on the bike for a second try, but just barely managed to stay upright.

As much as I'd love to glide through the air and feel the momentum of moving forward, being able to stop and remain still... is equally important.

Just look at me here... happy, confident, and perfectly balanced on two pedals while wearing a dress.

I'm curious about the dress, but baffled by the hand gesture over my heart. 

Maybe I was pledging allegiance to our country, swearing something on my honor or praying... not to fall down. Your guess is as good as mine.

I do remember the bike. It was a hand-me-down from my cousin who for some reason hand-painted it white. It wasn't pretty, but I got pretty darn mad the day it was stolen from our porch.

My second bike was a Schwinn, brand new and blue. It lasted for years until my brother decided to take it apart to see how things worked, or in this case... never worked again.

That was the last time I thought about a bicycle until now.

Bruises hurt, but not being able to accomplish what I set out to do hurts more.

Riding a bike shouldn't be this hard.

For some reason I seem unable to pick up where I left off... as a teenager cruising down the block on a bike, which was more like an extension of myself, rather than on foreign machine parts that attack!

'The Road Not Taken' can be a difficult one.

Jon Rawlinson

Giving up on mastering a bike would be more than disappointing; it would be another loss to endure. I live to ride again... once the bumps and bruises subside and I find a bike that fits and functions perfectly for me.

Until then, I'm grateful I don't drive. I'd hate to think of the damage I could do on the road with a huge chunk of metal the size and weight of a car or even a motorcycle.

Motorcycle as in a Vespa? Ooooo...'Wings On Two Wheels'!

Imagine... me with both feet off the ground and hair blowing in the wind.

Guess if I can dream it, I can do it... ride a bicycle that is.

.......................................

Purchasing, owning, riding, trips or tips... please share some of your bicycle experiences.

Here are a few links you might find interesting:

Ice Angel project by Dominic Harris and Cinimod Studio here.

Ai Weiwei's installation titled: "Stacked" viewed here and a video of his installation  titled: "Forever Bicycles" seen here.

Robert Frost's poem 'The Road Not Taken' here.

Sheryl Crow's video 'Everyday Is A Winding Road' here.

"Philadelphia Woman Finds Her Stolen Bike Via Social Media" here.

'Bike New York' uses an interesting method to teach youngsters (and me) how to ride a bicycle here.

To Our Friend

Christopher 'Robin' Hood

A Lover of Motorcycles and A Great Auto Mechanic

August 25, 1952- August 6, 2013

We Will Miss You

XOX... Dyan