Loaves & Fishes

Michael and I shop or do take-out almost every day for lunch or dinner.

If we purchase groceries too far in advance, food gets wasted, or worse, we risk getting sick.

Things either rest safely inside our freezer forever hidden among the bits of frozen bread and bags of frozen vegetables in 'the land that time forgot' or are kept in the refrigerator, stored appropriately in plastic or glass containers, often without labels and 'sell by' dates. Or what we do have that's fresh and ready to eat, by mealtime no longer appeals to us.

So we shop or do take-out almost every day for lunch or dinner.

When shopping for groceries, we either wander the aisles looking for ideas, clueless about what to eat, or know exactly what we crave and dart between carts and customers at record speed as if on a mission... grab 'n go'.

Today we're in Whole Foods on such a mission.

There's a pound of antibiotic free, hormone free, ground beef sitting in our refrigerator ready to turn green if not cooked today or by the latest tomorrow. If we can locate a jar of mild 'Liberty City Chili', some homemade cornbread and a small container of 365 Organic Plain Greek Style Yogurt, nonfat and less calories than sour cream and just as good, we'll be home free... Mission Accomplished!

But there are no jars of 'MILD' chili anywhere... just 'HOT'... cough, cough.

Busted we move to Plan B: Burgers.

We head to the bread aisle for a bag of ultra soft mini potato buns, but we're told they are all sold out. A new shipment will be in tomorrow, but tomorrow doesn't help today.

So we carry on with Plan C: Cheese

Well not just cheese. Since we already have the ground beef and plenty of boxes of De Cecco Thin Spaghetti no. 11 at home, we're hoping to pick up some grated Parmesan cheese and butter beans from the olive bar to compliment a meal of spaghetti and meatballs. So what are the odds of nabbing these two items today? Apparently, 0:0, zip, nada, giant goose egg, zero! Okay, so neither the cheese nor the beans are crucial to the dish, but hey... we weren't exactly married to the idea of pasta in the first place.

So in a last ditch effort it's Plan: D

Dump the ground beef for one more night and go with... whatever!

Only 'whatever' isn't making itself known to us.

'Mission Impossible' is now 'Mission Aborted'.

Defeated, we decide to head home where Michael will do magic with leftovers and I'll have a bowl of Trader Joe's High Fiber Cereal and Organic Valley Lactose Free, Fat Free Milk or some 365 Brand standards, Organic Salt-Free Peanut Butter and Organic Strawberry Conserve on Unsalted Saltine Crackers, my go to food by default.

But just as we're ready to leave...

I spot a stack of baguettes on the counter in the bakery department... and they're warm! Fresh from the oven!

Most unusual as most of the French and Italian loaves of bread are kept at room temperature... cold, stored upright in vertical bins, hard and crusty on the outside, sometimes just as hard and crusty on the inside. Not today and probably never again, will these loaves ever be as wonderful.

I grab some goat cheese and a jar of fig preserves both in eye shot while Michael chooses Seaside Cheddar (cheese from England) and then takes off for organic produce.

I find him in the seafood department waiting for some salmon to accompany his intended side dish of melted cheese on toast topped with spinach and tomatoes.

I stand next to him in front of bins packed with ice that hold whole fish... the shimmery silver kind with heads, bodies, tails, intact and sad eyes that appear glazed.

Fish doesn't appeal to me, but they sure are mesmerizing this little seven-year-old boy, who managed to wedge himself between the bins and me. Instantly, I'm reminded of Walker Evans, his photograph titled: "Roadside Stand Near Birmingham, Alabama" and his words:

"Stare. It is the way to educate your eye, and more. Stare, pry, listen, eavesdrop. Die knowing something. You are not here long."

"Roadside Stand Near Birmingham, Alabama" by Walker Evans

Staring long and hard, the boy turns to his father and quietly asks, "Daddy, can I have fish for dinner?... some Tilapia?" You could tell dad was proud. Hey, a boy who knows fish by name and knows how to eat healthy, I'm impressed. But not so impressed when the boy's younger sister, sitting in a cart, shouts out for the entire Baederwood Shopping Center to hear... "DADDY! I WANT McDONALDS!!"

"Maybe she'll order the Filet-O-Fish," I say encouragingly, while 'Fat Chance' is written all over dad's face.

I was raised on McDonalds... McDonalds and Swanson TV dinners.

Truth is... our family didn't have money to burn.

My father's mantra was either..."HOW MUCH does that cost??" or "What do you need that for?" Either way, his words always managed to kill my desire to buy anything. On the flip-side, when it came to food, my dad was a VERY generous man.

On weekends, he'd go to Waldbaums for fresh bagels, lox and whitefish. Then stop at Bambi's Bakery for a box of assorted pastries: jelly-filled powdered donuts, bear claws, and Danish topped with fruit or filled with cheese. This was breakfast.

For dinner, he'd drive the distance to Zorn's for a large bucket of the best ever fried chicken and containers full of potato salad and coleslaw. On special occasions, we'd go to a restaurant, Italian or Chinese, where my brother would deliberately order the most expensive item on the menu, making my dad cringe without any comment.

During the week, meals consisted of take-out hamburgers and fries from McDonalds, TV dinners baked in the oven, or food prepared by my mother, usually frozen minute steaks, directly from the freezer into the broiler, twenty minutes on each side and a side of potatoes.

  

Other than potatoes, I don't recall eating vegetables or cooked fish, but what kid would remember except maybe the seven-year-old at Whole Foods Market.

I think it made my dad happy to be able to provide for us and put food on the table, something I still appreciate to this day.

My dad retired early. I'm glad he did. He lived a brief life of just 57 years.

In the book I'm reading by Tom Shadyac, 'Life's Operating Manual: With the Fear and Truth Dialogues', which asks what's wrong with the world and what can we do about it, there's an interesting parable about a man who lived in a cottage by the sea... 

Every morning the man went fishing and caught just enough fish for the day. Afterward, he would spend time playing with his son, take a siesta, and enjoy lunch with his family. In the evening, he and his wife would meet friends at a local bar, and they'd tell stories, play music and dance the night away.

One day a tourist saw the fisherman and his meager catch and asked, "Why do you only catch 3 or 4 fish?"

"That's all my family needs for today," the  fisherman replied.

But the tourist had gone to business school and could not help but offer advice: "You know if you catch a few more fish and sell them at the market, you could make some extra money."

"Why would I want to do that?" the fisherman asked.

"With the extra money you could save up and buy a boat. Then you could catch even more fish and make even more money, which you could use to buy an entire fleet of boats!"

"Why do I need so many boats?" queried the fisherman.

"Don't you see? With a fleet of boats, you could sell more fish and with the extra money, you could move to New York, run an international business and sell fish all over the world!"

"And how long would this take?" the fisherman asked.

"Maybe 10 or 20 years" the businessman said.

"Then what?" The fisherman said.

"Then you could sell your company for millions, retire, buy a cottage by the sea, go fishing every morning, take a siesta every afternoon, enjoy lunch with your family and spend evenings with friends, playing music and dancing!"

For now, Michael and I shop or do take-out almost every day for lunch or dinner. Other times we enjoy dining in restaurants.

Food is a necessity. For some, it can also be a luxury and a pleasure. From food stamps to four-star establishments, we've lived both lives.

Sometimes life is easy, sometimes hard, sometimes profound and sometimes straightforward like ... a jar of 'MILD' chili... temporarily unattainable.

~ May food always be readily available to you and plentiful on your table ~

What are some of your favorite foods, food routines or dining experiences?

Here are a few links you might find interesting:

"Loaves and Fishes" a poem by one of my favorite poets David Whyte here.

'Big Appetites' by artist Christopher Boffoli viewed here.

'Cheese Portraits' by artist and friend Mike Geno here and an article about him titled: "Like the Mona Lisa, but on a Cracker" here.

A short written history of the TV Dinner here, with a short video version here and a British take on it here.

Cool Food Facts here.

Here's to Those Who Make a Difference.

Philabundance

Our favorite non-profit organization whose 'Mission' is to 

'reduce hunger and food insecurity in the Delaware Valley

by providing food access to people in need,

in partnership with organizations and individuals'.

A brief behind-the-scenes look at Philabundance here.

XOX... Dyan