Photo: neonsigsn.tumblr.com
I ordered pizza, "Extra light on the cheese."
The waitress says, "That'll be a dollar more."
I say, "No, not extra cheese, I want less cheese."
Again she says, "That'll be a dollar more."
"I don't get it," I say.
She says nothing... just waits for my reply with a 'take it or leave it' arrogance that sometimes comes from those who work in fine dining establishments, only this was a pizza joint with Formica table tops, plastic cups, napkins that come out of metal dispensers, and food that's served on paper plates!
"Fine" I snap, though I'm anything but fine. Then under my breath I mutter... "We all know where that extra $1.00 will be coming from," implying from her tip.
But I think my waitress may have overheard me. Just in case, I keep tabs on the open kitchen to ensure that nothing unpleasant finds its way onto my pie or that my pizza doesn't 'accidentally on purpose' fall to the floor and end up back on my plate, server retaliation.
When my pizza arrives unscathed, I notice it's loaded with tomato sauce BUT MISSING THE CHEESE!... as in zilch, nada, no trace of the stuff.
I point this out to my waitress, who no doubt deliberately 86'd my cheese, which in restaurant lingo means: 'To Be Served Without', in this case... without cheese! Then brazenly my waitress tries to convince me otherwise, by telling me, "There's definitely cheese on this pie," while pointing out all its 'invisible locations'.
Photo: neonsigsn.tumblr.com
So this is her game. Only, I'm not playing.
Seconds before I explode...
I ABRUPTLY WAKE UP!
I CAN'T BELIEVE... I almost went fisticuffs with a waitress... IN A DREAM!
Photo: neonsigsn.tumblr.com
It's 6:30 AM. I'm not even out of bed and already I feel like a victim!
Determined not to start my day this way, I decide to drift back to sleep, and if possible, return to my dream and rescript an ending. Crazy as it sounds, I'm hoping to correct all that previously went wrong by having what's called, a 'lucid dream'.
Photo: neonsigsn.tumblr.com
And so with the room still fairly dark, and the sheets still warm, I try and relax by closing my eyes and... Zzzz...Zzzzz...Zzzzzzzzzz
I see the owner walking towards me after he notices that I'm far from thrilled with my dining experience.
"How can I help?" he says.
"First... find me another waitress!" I bark. "Then let's phone Joe Beddia (a local Philadelphia chef known for his world class pizzas) to see if he would charge a patron a dollar more for less cheese on a pizza!"
Clearly out of the loop, but nevertheless accommodating, he says, "I hear your frustration and will personally oversee your table. There will be no charge for your meal."
A few diners sitting near me applaud!
A couple leave their table to confide in me... "We always sit there (pointing to the back of the restaurant next to the coat rack and restroom) so we don't have to deal with your waitress. It's not her station."
Vindication!
And on that happy note...
I gradually wake up.
Hooray!... for lucid pizza dreams!
Did you know 'Pizza Dream' is an actual term? I read it in Urban Dictionary. It's used to describe a very real, very freaky dream that you believe actually happened despite its outrageous improbability. Usually brought about due to eating way too much pizza.
As if there's such a thing as eating too much pizza.
Curious, I go online and discover that according to dream interpretation... seeing or eating pizza while you sleep represents abundance, choice, and variety, and may also indicate that you are lacking or feeling deprived of something.
Well it's no mystery to me... beside lacking cheese in a dream, I'm also feeling deprived of sleep.
Usually, I tend to fall asleep quickly... almost as soon as my head hits the pillow. But lately, ever since moving the clocks ahead for Daylight Saving Time (DST) on March 13th, I've been tossing and turning for hours each night unable to enter slumberland easily. It's no wonder I'm doing battle in my dreams... my biological clock is out of whack!
And I'm not alone.
According to Standardtime.com, hundreds of thousands of people adversely affected by the shift in time have signed petitions asking our government to : "Stop Spring Forward, Fall Back. Pick a Time, and Stick with it!"
I see the owner walking towards me after he notices that I'm far from thrilled with my dining experience.
"How can I help?" he says.
"First... find me another waitress!" I bark. "Then let's phone Joe Beddia (a local Philadelphia chef known for his world class pizzas) to see if he would charge a patron a dollar more for less cheese on a pizza!"
Clearly out of the loop, but nevertheless accommodating, he says, "I hear your frustration and will personally oversee your table. There will be no charge for your meal."
A few diners sitting near me applaud!
A couple leave their table to confide in me... "We always sit there (pointing to the back of the restaurant next to the coat rack and restroom) so we don't have to deal with your waitress. It's not her station."
Vindication!
And on that happy note...
I gradually wake up.
Hooray!... for lucid pizza dreams!
Did you know 'Pizza Dream' is an actual term? I read it in Urban Dictionary. It's used to describe a very real, very freaky dream that you believe actually happened despite its outrageous improbability. Usually brought about due to eating way too much pizza.
As if there's such a thing as eating too much pizza.
Curious, I go online and discover that according to dream interpretation... seeing or eating pizza while you sleep represents abundance, choice, and variety, and may also indicate that you are lacking or feeling deprived of something.
Well it's no mystery to me... beside lacking cheese in a dream, I'm also feeling deprived of sleep.
Usually, I tend to fall asleep quickly... almost as soon as my head hits the pillow. But lately, ever since moving the clocks ahead for Daylight Saving Time (DST) on March 13th, I've been tossing and turning for hours each night unable to enter slumberland easily. It's no wonder I'm doing battle in my dreams... my biological clock is out of whack!
And I'm not alone.
According to Standardtime.com, hundreds of thousands of people adversely affected by the shift in time have signed petitions asking our government to : "Stop Spring Forward, Fall Back. Pick a Time, and Stick with it!"
Photo: neonsigsn.tumblr.com
And it's hard to nail down just one story as to why Daylight Saving Time was created. Some say the idea was started back in 1784 when Ben Franklin believed by changing our sleep schedule we could use daylight more efficiently and burn fewer candles. Similarly, during the first World War, it was used to save fuel; years later it supposedly saved energy, and currently, some believe it's used to extend summer days by giving us more daylight in the evening for extended outdoor activities.
I was always told as a child that DST was established to give farmers more time in the field. Now I find out... that's not true! According to Michael Downing, author of Spring Forward:The Annual Madness of Daylight Saving Time, "Farmers hated the idea of DST. Farmers really used morning light. Turning the clocks ahead had the effect of giving them one less hour of daylight." And dairy farmers opposed the time shift as well... explaining that cows have finely tuned internal clocks that don't do well with schedule changes.
So who exactly benefits from the extra daylight?
Perhaps those waiting in line for one of Joe Beddia's famous pizzas.
A message written (in capitalized letters) from Joe's website reads:
HELLO WORLD, JUST A COUPLE OF THINGS: PIZZERIA BEDDIA IS OPEN WEDNESDAY THROUGH SATURDAY FROM 5:30 PM to 10:30 PM. WE DON'T HAVE A PHONE AND ONLY TAKE ORDERS IN PERSON. WE ARE CASH ONLY AND DO NOT HAVE A PUBLIC RESTROOM. PEOPLE HAVE STARTED LINING UP AS EARLY AS 4:00 FOR PIZZA AND THERE ARE ONLY 40 PIZZAS A NIGHT. SO IF THERE ARE MORE THAN 25 TO 30 PEOPLE IN LINE, WE ARE LIKELY SOLD OUT. I AM WARNING YOU WITH PEACE AND LOVE. PEACE AND LOVE.
No... This is not another one of my wild 'pizza dreams'.
But the day I wait hours in line to try one of Joe's amazing creations and I'm told... "WE'RE ALL SOLD OUT," would definitely be a pizza nightmare!
Bon Appetit named Joe's pizzas "The Best in America." To read the article go here.
For "46 Mouthwatering Facts About Pizza" go here.
For "46 Mouthwatering Facts About Pizza" go here.
Also interesting is artist Christian Marclay's obsession with time. Watch Alain de Bottom briefly introduce Marclay's, "The Clock" here. And watch a 3 minute segment from Marclay's 24 hour video of "The Clock" here.
Ever wake up on the wrong side of the bed without any explanation?
Join the club. Our first meeting will be held next month... during Daylight Saving Time.
A special thanks to neonsigsn.com
for sharing their great neon sign images.
XOX... Dyan
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